Miss Teen South Carolina

Ladies & Gentlemen … it is my honor to present you The Future Miss Nancy Grace!

I wouldn’t waste any mental energy feeling sorry for the lovely Lauren Caitlin Upton, because at this point the world is her oyster. One day, she could be a pop diva, get work in film & television [though, the pageant gave the wrong kind of “oral exam” for that industry] or heck, even become a stripper (and retain more of her dignity than the prior two options would permit).

Should her Southern Morality not allow for the latter career, her IQ score won’t stop her from becoming a cop [intelligence preventative to police academy admission].

Hm, that may not be such a good idea either. While its too late for Nancy Grace, perhaps there is still hope for young Lauren. Perhaps, an intensive regimen of travelling to new lands and cultures could expand her horizons & her mind…

… or maybe, not. Sadly, Miss Upton is the perfect embodiment of the type of people that our Brave New World is being engineered to hold.

A Few Other Arbitrary Celtic Rebel Posts on Related or Similar Subject Matter
Jun 2007: Arnold the Butt Pirate Aug 2007: The Future Nancy Grace
Oct 2007: Snake Oil Woman Feb 2008: The Alien Anal Agenda

Note: Oh, if only I could find the clip from CNN’s “Hurricane Katrina” coverage where Nancy Grace shows her own Fairfield County high-life ignorance by arguing that the poor victims won’t actually be able to grill food or light a fire, without having to go to the trouble of “rubbing two sticks together.”

~ by celticrebel on August 29, 2007.

4 Responses to “Miss Teen South Carolina”

  1. Miss Teen South Carolina answered that question badly, but she’s still got her looks to fall back on…

  2. Second video’s been “removed due to terms of use violation”.

  3. YouTube’s been removing so much lately. Doesn’t seem to be another copy floating around at the moment. The video was of a female cop pulling her gun out on a guy who’s already laying on the ground, accidentally firing it, and scaring the crap out of herself in the process.

  4. I didn’t know you could catch “Montezuma’s revenge” in the U.K.!

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