They Think We’re Pretty (Vacant)

I could have come up with a lot more reasons why THEY (our rulers, the media) think WE (you, me, everybody) are not very bright, but I’ll just focus on twelve (no reason we can only make top ten lists) really outlandish lies we’ve been told, that in retrospect, maybe we were rather ignorant to ever have believed. So, without further adieu, here’s: the Top Twelve Signs that They Must Think We’re All a Bunch of Morons

(1) Undetectable Liquids can be Mixed on a Plane and Cause an Explosion

OK. We took chemistry. We’ll go for it. So now, security makes us open all liquid containers, then pour the contents into a garbage can, and then throw in the container. So, basically, we’re being forced to mix all these liquids into the SAME place. Ugh, wait a minute….

(2) Satam Al Suqami’s pristine passport being found on 9/11

Wow! Amazing! My recommendation is that from now on, we start making those “indestructible” black boxes out of the same material (i.e., paper) that his passport was made of, seeing that these black boxes were the only ones in history that were never recovered.

(3) Jet fuel. Jet fuel. Jet fuel.

Before 911, “jet fuel” was simply jet fuel. But, since that day, it has entered the public consciousness as the most destructive, high-temperature burning, longest-lasting substance ever. So, I guess that periodic table of the elements we learned in school was also a hoax. Carbon steel melts at 2770f , while kerosene-based jet fuel burns at a maximum of 1600f and burns up quickly. Guess that periodic table was just plain wrong.

Later, we’re told (i.e., given the rationalization) the impact of the planes “knocked” the fireproofing off the steel frame. Ah, I see. They probably should have coated the frame with fire-proofing, instead of using the salt n’ pepper shaker variety of fire-proofing then.

(4) The “terrorists” Hate us, cause they Hate our Freedom.

So, the natural solution to the problem then is to take away all our freedom (Patriot Act(s), etc.). Ah, I see. Brilliant! Wait, that doesn’t make any sense, unless of course, the people taking away all our freedoms are the terrorists. Oh, oh…..

(5) The Luckiest Bastard Ever award goes to: Larry Silverstein

Usually a shrewd businessman, Larry’s acquisition of the World Trade Center six months before 911, had many analysts scratching their heads. It would take him forever to recoup the investment at projected lease rates, and the building was in dire need of costly asbestos removal and other renovations. However, Larry was fortuitous enough to secure “future development rights” on the property from the Port Authority, and also, take out a $7.1 billion insurance policy specifically against terrorist attacks six weeks before 911.

One might be led to believe that beyond luck, the man is psychic, but you’d have to doubt his mental abilities, after he slipped up on PBS, saying he gave the order to “pull” (industry term for demolition) WTC7. If this guy were to buy the building I worked in, I think I’d relocate (note to workers located in his latest acquisition, the Sears Tower).

(6) The IHOP Pancake Theory

Who came up with that nonsense? It must have come at the International House of Pancakes, after someone was on a drinking binge. Maybe this person put blueberries between their pancakes and then mashed down the stack and thought, “Voila! Pancake Theory.” They must have forgotten the two main WTC towers had 47 core steel columns inside them (some of them 4 feet thick), which would not compress like blueberries. Whoever’s drinking buddy was with them that night, should have put 47 tooth picks in between the pancake stack and let that serve as an unpleasant reminder of why the “pancake theory” wouldn’t work.

(7) Giuliani as a “Heroic Leader”

What did this guy do? Well, he had the uncanny foresight to move his emergency headquarters to the pier a couple days before (was in WTC7), then proceeded to send away all the evidence off to be recycled at below value prices to China (despite years experience as a prosecutor), threatened citizens of New York with arrest for trying to take pictures of the evidence, and even provoked a fight with the firefighters, by preventing them for searching for remains of their fallen comrades, in the interests of finding gold and clearing out evidence. And, let’s not forget he’s the one who gave the “all clear” for the cleanup effort, despite all the asbestos present. Hero??? Leader?? Criminal?

(8) The Guy in the Cave

Some guy on dialysis equipment sitting in a cave, manages to plan and direct the attacks for years while completely avoiding detection by Echelon, sidestepping the entire $40 billion US Intelligence apparatus, infiltrates NORAD and makes it stand down, obtains top secret military operational codes (which change daily) and then makes the laws of physics disappear in New York. Osama bin Jesus???

(9) Electronic Voting Machines being a Solution to ANY problem

EVM’s are the most obvious attempt at getting rid of our illusion of democracy and the need for the parties to spend billions on advertising; trying to brain-wash the masses with rhetoric, negative attacks, and jingoistic catch phrases. The latest propaganda to revive public confidence in the unaccountable (and as proven, ultimately hackable) voting machines is to now have the machines print receipts for validation. Uh, I took basic programming. Regardless of the language, what’s so hard about writing two lines of code that essentially read {RECORD X} {PRINT Y}?

(10) Mohammed Atta: International Man of Mystery

Was this guy a suicide pilot? Was this guy waiting to meet Allah and lay claim to his 70 virgins? Let’s see: he drank alcohol, he snorted cocaine like no tomorrow, he wore a big gold crucifix, he regularly frequented strip clubs and even procured the services of prostitutes. Not a very devout Muslim. But, he did actually fly small planes regularly out of a flight school suspected of being a major drug-running operation. Muslim Jihaddist or just a drug-smuggler? His actions speak towards the latter.

(11) WTC7 Falling “in Sympathy” with the Main Towers

A 47 story tower, that wasn’t hit by anything, and was further from the main towers than other buildings which are still standing, and only had a few small fires of suspect origin on some suspect floors, suddenly collapses neatly upon itself. The only OFFICIAL explanation to date has been that it “fell in sympathy with the other towers.” Ah, couldn’t someone have talked it out of falling then? Why did no one try counseling it? IN SYMPATHY? Is this a meerkat or a building we’re talking about here?

(12) CNN reports that Mercury is GOOD for your kids

Yes. CNN actually said that “a little mercury is good for you.” So, please don’t start worrying about giving your kids vaccines with mercury in them anymore (pretty much all children’s vaccines). What nonsense. Mercury is one of the most toxic substances you can put into a human body. It doesn’t ever go away, and just stays behind, regularly attacking the brain.

 

This article may not necessarily reflect the present views of The Celtic Rebel, and has been left in the archive to show stages in growth and development of The Rebel Path.

 

* Afterword [04/02/08]: This was actually written before there was ever a Celtic Rebel, and likely a motivator for me to start blogging. Just interesting to look back on it now.

~ by celticrebel on April 1, 2007.